Death
I've been thinking a lot about death lately. I used to work with people who were dying, and last year I watched my aunt die from cancer. I seem to be at the age where death is on my mind. I'm reading Ram Dass' latest book, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying. It's a great book, and I love this quote from Michael Lerner, who works with people diagnosed with cancer, on what he would do if faced with a cancer diagnosis:
"I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hoped a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of and what I wanted to keep.
"I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn't need someone with wonderful empathic skills because I have other people to provide that. But I would want a doctor who is basically kind, is on top of the medical literature regarding my disease, takes the time to answer my questions, understands that I want to be deeply involved in treatment decisions, supports my use of complementary therapies, and sticks with me medically and emotionally if I were facing death.
"I would use conventional therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I would probably not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were highly toxic or compromised my capacity to live and die as I choose.
"I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and a psychotherapist experienced in working with people with cancer. I've been a vegetarian for many years but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.
"I would definitely use traditional Chinese medicine, both herbs and acupuncture.
"I would strive for life and recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution.
"I would spend time with people I value, and with books, writing, music, and God. I would do everything that I could do that I didn't want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.
"I would try to live my own life in my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and the joy."
This is everything that my aunt didn't do. I hope I can maintain a balanced perspective like this if I am diagnosed with a debilitating disease.
"I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hoped a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of and what I wanted to keep.
"I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn't need someone with wonderful empathic skills because I have other people to provide that. But I would want a doctor who is basically kind, is on top of the medical literature regarding my disease, takes the time to answer my questions, understands that I want to be deeply involved in treatment decisions, supports my use of complementary therapies, and sticks with me medically and emotionally if I were facing death.
"I would use conventional therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I would probably not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were highly toxic or compromised my capacity to live and die as I choose.
"I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and a psychotherapist experienced in working with people with cancer. I've been a vegetarian for many years but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.
"I would definitely use traditional Chinese medicine, both herbs and acupuncture.
"I would strive for life and recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution.
"I would spend time with people I value, and with books, writing, music, and God. I would do everything that I could do that I didn't want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.
"I would try to live my own life in my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and the joy."
This is everything that my aunt didn't do. I hope I can maintain a balanced perspective like this if I am diagnosed with a debilitating disease.
posted by Cassandra at 5:59 PM
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