Bullies
I've been listening to tapes of a Pema Chodron retreat and thinking about the eightfold path and the ten precepts of Buddhism. One of the things Pema talked about at this retreat was how to change behavior. Every time we behave a particular way, we strengthen that behavior. We cultivate behaviors through our everyday actions.
I've also been thinking about bullies -- people intent on hurting other people -- and how to best deal with them. When shoved, it's hard not to want to shove back. But I'm not on a path that's conducive to retaliation, nor do I want to cultivate meanness in myself. Do I simply turn the other cheek? Do I somehow let them know not to mess with me, and how could I do that without the backing of some sort of threat? What would Buddha do? What would Christ do? What would you do?
I've also been thinking about bullies -- people intent on hurting other people -- and how to best deal with them. When shoved, it's hard not to want to shove back. But I'm not on a path that's conducive to retaliation, nor do I want to cultivate meanness in myself. Do I simply turn the other cheek? Do I somehow let them know not to mess with me, and how could I do that without the backing of some sort of threat? What would Buddha do? What would Christ do? What would you do?
posted by Cassandra at 11:11 AM
5 Comments:
On the subject of bullies. I think of them as predators, and of the rest of us as prey. Of course it's possible for me to be a predator too, if the situation is right, but usually I'm in the prey mode....until recently.
There is another mode, and that is to be neither predator nor prey, but just "be", be yourself. I'm exploring the possibility that if I am really being myself, inhabiting my life at the moment rather than being distracted or hiding, I will be unattractive to predators who will not see me as a victim and pass on.
What do you think?
I don' know, Lyn. I think of myself as a relatively kind and decent person, minding my own business and mostly being myself, yet I still attract certain types of predators. Is it my karma?
But only certain types of predators. Maybe it would be useful to look at the characteristics those predators find attractive and give some thought to redirecting those attributes in yourself. Chances are they are either things that are not positive about yourself or are distortions of a positive quality you possess.
I'm all for not being prey!!
Hmmm . . . you're right. I only attract certain types of predators, and not others. I'll have to give that some thought.
I think that bullies aren't the same, and that while it's sometimes easy to "lay low" and not be seen as prey, sometimes that's just not gonna work. Sometimes bullies knock on your front door and you have to decide what you're gonna do. You can hide under the bed, I guess, but you'd already be "prey" in that case...a prisoner in your own home!
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