Food Chain

I've got my friend Ron reading Ram Dass' latest book, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying, too. We were talking today about the meaning of life. We both come from nonreligious families, and we're struggling with theories about the meaning and purpose of life and what happens after death. Our pull is towards existentialism, but existentialism is so depressing, and we would prefer to believe something else. I've tried really hard to adopt a spiritual point of view that includes the concepts of karma, a soul, and reincarnation, but deep down in my heart, I don't know if I believe it.

I think it's difficult to break away from ideas that we learned as children, and I was taught that when we die we're gone -- period. There is nothing after death. There is no reason or purpose for being here, and there is no heaven or hell waiting for me after I die. Basic existentialism.

Last week Ron was saying that all beings (including human beings) are food for each other, and what meaning is there in being food? I want to think that there's some greater purpose for being here than providing dinner for a bear or for worms, but I don't know what it is. Are we just putting in time, or are we here for a reason?

Autopilot

I was wondering, if all humans were to vanish simultaneously, leaving everything else untouched, how long would the machines continue to function? How long would electricty continue to be generated, and how long would our refridgerators continue to hum? How long would automatic telephone dialing systems continue to make calls, and how long would voice mail work? How long would it take for everything to shut down?

Competition

How can I compete with the beauty of nature? There is no way I could create something as stunning as this Morning Glory.



There is no way I could create something as wonderful as the smell of these lemon-scented roses.



Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to try!

Prophecy

I had a vision this morning that humans will not be on this planet much longer. I don't know what will happen or when, but I could clearly see our homes and streets being reclaimed by nature. Dirt will enter the structures as they being to decay, and plants and animals will take up residence. Insects will eat away at the wood. Plants will uproot asphalt and cement. There wasn't any sadness associated with this. It was a feeling of great peace and joy -- a feeling of harmony and balance being restored.

Solutions

I went to a meeting of the SCWCA Eco-Arts discussion group today. It was my first time there. We were talking about problems with corporations, but I left wondering about solutions and how change really occurs. I have heard it said that there will be no peace in the world until we have peace in our hearts. I suspect that it's the same with corporate greed. We can complain about corporate greed, protest corporate greed, and legislate against corporate greed, but the situation won't change until we each look at the greed within ourselves and work to eradicate it. I don't think it's a problem with "them." There really is no "them" -- there's only us. Corporations are made up of people -- people like us. It's the greed in all of us that perpetuates corporate greed. As long as we harbor any greed, greed will continue to exist in the world. In my humble opinion, the path to widescale change is to first look inside and change ourselves.

Control

This is driving me crazy. The more I try to control my painting, the worse it looks. When I choose colors at random, without even thinking about it, and paint as if I couldn't care less how it turns out, the work looks great. Then I get cocky, and think I can do something specific, and the work sucks -- big time.

Am I doomed to create only random works of art? Will I ever be able to plan out a project ahead of time and make it look decent?

More Experiments

Here's another serendipity thing. I wasn't happy with the way this painting was turning out, so I folded it in half while the paint was still wet. I like the lines that formed.



This painting is kind of interesting. I like the way it looks layered.



I seem to be in an experimental phase, and it's lasting a l-o-n-g time. I keep thinking I'll get a body of work together, but then something else grabs my attention, and I'm off and running with that. I need to settle down and focus on the New American Paintings work, but I'm feeling too scattered.

Spring Painting

I usually do nonobjective work, so I don't know what got into me when I painted this:



It's one of the Spring paintings from the "Seasons" series. I'm not sure if I like it or not. I think I'm going to have to sit with it for a while before I make a decision about its viability. For reference, it's 36" x 48". Here's a detail:



On to Summer! I want to get four good paintings for the New American Paintings competition. The deadline for the Pacific Coast edition is June 30th, so the pressure is on.

Death

I've been thinking a lot about death lately. I used to work with people who were dying, and last year I watched my aunt die from cancer. I seem to be at the age where death is on my mind. I'm reading Ram Dass' latest book, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying. It's a great book, and I love this quote from Michael Lerner, who works with people diagnosed with cancer, on what he would do if faced with a cancer diagnosis:

"I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hoped a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of and what I wanted to keep.

"I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn't need someone with wonderful empathic skills because I have other people to provide that. But I would want a doctor who is basically kind, is on top of the medical literature regarding my disease, takes the time to answer my questions, understands that I want to be deeply involved in treatment decisions, supports my use of complementary therapies, and sticks with me medically and emotionally if I were facing death.

"I would use conventional therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I would probably not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were highly toxic or compromised my capacity to live and die as I choose.

"I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and a psychotherapist experienced in working with people with cancer. I've been a vegetarian for many years but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.

"I would definitely use traditional Chinese medicine, both herbs and acupuncture.

"I would strive for life and recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution.

"I would spend time with people I value, and with books, writing, music, and God. I would do everything that I could do that I didn't want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.

"I would try to live my own life in my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and the joy."

This is everything that my aunt didn't do. I hope I can maintain a balanced perspective like this if I am diagnosed with a debilitating disease.

Whole Foods

The stock market was down again today, so naturally Whole Foods Market stock went up two-and-a-half points. What is up with that stock? It's up about ten points from when I thought it was trading high last week. I thought $110 a share was high, but now it's trading at almost $120. Who knows -- maybe $120 is a good deal, and by this time next week it will be at $130!

New Beginnings

I'm seriously starting on the Spring paintings for my "Seasons" series. ("Seasons" being the working title. Hopefully I'll think of a better name eventually!) Here's the beginning of a 36" x 48" piece:



And here are a couple of 12" x 12" paintings I did as a warmup exercise:






It's fun to be working on a new body of work, but it sure is time consuming. I barely have time to eat and sleep, let alone play with the cats, balance my checking account, or write something interesting for this blog. About all I'm capable of right now is posting pictures of what I'm working on.

Favorites

Tyler Green at Modern Art Notes has asked bloggers to post their favorite American painting and favorite painting in America. Gosh, I don't know. There are so many great painters to choose from. I love Georgia O'Keefe, Mark Rothko, Judy Chicago, Ed Moses, Jackson Pollock . . . to name a few. How about favorite American painter? I'll go with Jay Smithline -- a true American painter who depicts themes ranging from movies, television, advertising, politics, and American life to surrealist landscapes. Jay's unique work is wildly imaginative with a great sense of humor. He paints on canvas and wood panel, or anything that is handy, such as old satellite dishes and tire covers. I admire Jay's dedication, talent, and wealth of ideas. Here are two of my favorites, titled "Funist Door #2" and "safe&lame", and you can see hundreds more of his paintings on the d'ART website.







How about you? What is your favorite American painting and favorite painting in America?

Death as Career Move

Is being an artist the only job where dying is a good career move? The one sure way to increase the value and sales of your artwork is to die, especially if you die in some sort of dramatic way that is widely publicized. When an artist dies, no new work will be created, and the work that exists is all that there is or will ever be. For some people, this creates a feeling of scarcity, and there is more demand for the work.

The other thing that strikes me as strange is that artists' resumes continue after they die. Does this happen in any other profession? The artist dies, but the work continues to be shown, and the list of exhibitions on the artist's resume continues after death. Doesn't this seem a little weird to you?

Lessons

Today I found out that the water blasting technique doesn't work if you put a glaze on the underpainting. All of the paint slips right off, and you're left with nothing but underpainting. Shoot. A whole day in the studio wasted. I hate having to learn lessons the hard way.

This is a detail from another water-blast piece I did today that looks interesting:



And this is another painting I did with white-on-white background detail:



It's hard to keep the white parts clean! I'm not all that neat when it comes to painting, and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Winter Series

Here's another recently completed piece from my "Winter" series.



Maybe now I can move on to spring . . . now that it's almost summer!

Insider Info

I had a dream this morning telling me to buy more Whole Foods Market stock. I've been wanting to buy Whole Foods, but wavering because it's trading high and my financial advisor advises against it. Anyway, the stock went up four points today! Maybe I should have listened to the dream

Lyn Southworth Interview

Yesterday I interviewed artist and friend, Lyn Southworth, about how she got started in art, and her career as an artist. The following is my transcription of the interview.



CT: How did you get started in art?

LS: I got started in art by taking Japanese classes at UCLA. It was totally all-consuming because I knew nothing about it. As a Japanese major there are an awful lot of courses that you have to take besides language courses that have to do with Japanese culture, like Japanese art. Once I saw Japanese art and started taking those classes, I said, "Wow!" And the artist in me just came alive. I had never seen anything except European art. I loved European art, especially the impressionists, and I grew up with that, but it was always something that ended in the previous century when they were drinking Pernod in cafes. It wasn't anything that had anything to do with me or that I could ever aspire to. But Japanese art really, really spoke to me. I started working with fabric, because that's a Japanese traditional thing -- working with fabric -- dyes on fabric. And exploring a lot of Japanese techniques for fabric. Surface design, it's called. And that's how I got into it. Then I started selling pieces, and I realized -- Hey! -- make a business out of it. You love doing this, so let's do it!

CT: When did you first know that you wanted to be an artist?

LS: It was at that time, in the early 80s. Before that I saw myself in an entirely different light. It was like I lived an entirely other life. I was a mother and a minister's wife. Those roles didn't have artists. There was nobody in my family who did that kind of thing, and art was something you went to the museum once a year and saw on the wall.

CT: What other artists have influenced you?

LS: From my childhood and my growing up, the French impressionists, and the one who stands out for me is Amedeo Modigliani. That continues to this day. I love his work. His work really speaks to me -- and the way he paints people. It's a way that I would like to be able to do it. And the other big influence on me are the paintings and woodcuts of Japan. I'm sure you've all seen them. The geishas, the woodcuts of women, and the beautiful soft colors. When I first started, I really thought maybe I was going to start making woodcuts, and actually doing that. And I learned a lot of the processes and so forth. But now I've brought that feeling into other medias, so I don't have to do the woodcuts.

CT: What advice would you give to aspiring artists?

LS: Wow! To me, an aspiring artist is somebody who wants to make art, rather than go jogging or find something else to do. It doesn't really have anything to do with being a professional, or making a lot of money, or having a career. I would just say, make all the art you can. Make art, look at art, and don't ever apologize for spending your time making art. Because it's a worthwhile thing to do, and artists live a long time because it's such a healthy thing to do. Go for it! Just do it!

CT: What do you like to do that's not art related?

LS: Not art related? I still like housekeeping. I still like all of the domestic stuff that I was brought up to do. I like being a grandma. I like playing with my DVD-R and taping stuff that comes on at all hours of the day and night and then watching what I want. I just think that's the coolest thing ever!

CT: Anything else you'd like to add?

LS: It's such a privilege to be able to have the time, energy and space to make art. I just hope that anybody who has the slightest wind of desire will follow up on that and make a place for art in your life. Just like taking piano lessons, even if you never got to be very good, it makes you appreciate all music much more. Just doing art, at whatever level that you do it, makes you appreciate the beauty of the world around you. It helps you to see. It helps you to live to the fullest.

Experiments

I'm sort of liking this new painting. Again, it's something I was playing around with -- applying the paint using straight brushstrokes across the canvas rather than my usual more expressive manner. It has a landscape feel to it.



This one is fun, too. I like the look of the white on white background, but it's hard to work with. It makes the canvas bumpy and uneven, and paint settles into the low spots.



I overpainted one of the indigo washout pieces from yesterday. Here's a detail:



I'm still not sure where this washout piece is going. It needs something more, but what? For some reason I was thinking of the color of the red safelights in the darkroom scenes from the movie "Blowup," but this didn't turn out that color of red. Glazes are like that. They dry a lot lighter.

When was "Blowup" made -- the 1970s? I don't know why I would be thinking about that now, but that glowing scarlet red is very vivid in my mind.

Serendipity?

I was unhappy with the way a couple of paintings were turning out, so I misted them with water from a spray bottle while the paint was still wet, just to see what would happen. That made a mess, and I got angry and blasted them with the hose. Here are details of what they look like now:






They look like fabric that was intricately dyed with indigo. Now we're getting somewhere. This I can work with.

Of course, when I tried to recreate this effect, I couldn't. Painting can be so frustrating at times. I never know what to expect, and I can't force it to turn out the way I want it to turn out. It's a process of continually having to let go and accept what is.

Every time I try to make a painting look a certain way, I mess up. But when I don't care how it turns out and am just playing around, the work looks great. This really becomes problematic when I'm doing a commission, and the client wants particular colors and a specific look. I can and have done it, but it's much more difficult than when I'm detached from the results.

Now I have the challenge of doing something with these washed out indigo paintings. It's not what I was expecting, and I've never seen anything like this before, so I have no idea what to do next. Hopefully something will come to me, either through divine inspiration or trial and error.

Finished Painting

Here's the painting I showed you a couple of days ago, with silver-blue dots added for the final layer. It has become more difficult to photograph, because it has a glossy finish now, and I'm picking up some glare.



I think I like it better upside down, and I'm working on a new piece with that in mind.



I've been feeling brain-dead the past few days, and I can't think of a thing to write about. It will pass eventually, like everything else. At least I'm still able to paint, even when my mind isn't completely working!

One of my paintings went to the 8383 Wilshire Boulevard building in Beverly Hills today, and I'm hoping to get some pics of it installed in the lobby there soon.

Alternative Audio Guides

Here's a great idea! A group of Marymount Manhattan College students has put together an alternative iPodcast audio guide for the Museum of Modern Art in New York. I wish someone would do this for some of the art museums in Los Angeles. This sounds like great fun!

Jacaranda Trees

This is for Ron. He used to live in California, but now he's in Florida, and he misses the Jacaranda trees. He requested some pics of the trees in bloom. They're just starting to bloom, and I took these pics on 11th Street in Santa Monica. It looks like it's going to be a great year for color, with all of our winter rain.

Thinking Winter in Spring

Here's a painting I showed you earlier ("Flexibility" post in the April archive). Now it has its third and fourth layers of paint, and it's starting to take shape. Next comes a couple of coats of gloss medium, and then I think some dots.



This is the one that's supposed to be winter, although I'm not sure it's turning out all that winter-ish. Maybe it will look more like winter with some snow! It's nice to see it reduced, as if seen from a distance. Usually I'm right on top of it, and it looks different that way. It's 36" x 48" so it's kind of hard to get back far enough in the studio to see it.

Well, I don't recommend changing your name mid-career. What I'm doing is only a very minor change, from Cassie to Cassandra, but it's still a lot of work. New website, new business cards, name change on everything from resume to cover letters to blogger ID. I have artwork on websites all over the Internet, and the links to my website on all of those have to be changed. Is it worth it? I guess I'll never know, because I won't know what would have happened if I hadn't made the change.

You Go Where You Look

I was talking with my friend Carole Spence the other day, and I was reminded of the phrase "You go where you look." Carole is another artist whose work you might want to check out. Here is one of her paintings, and you can see more on her website.



We were talking about how easy it is to slip into a downward spiral of negative thinking. Once in that state, it can be so difficult to pull yourself out, and to remember that it doesn't have to be that way. Everything is happening in the mind, and the mind can just as easily focus on the positive.

My friend Michael Benner always said, "You go where you look," meaning that if you focus on the negative, you'll bring that on. If you focus on magic, magic will happen.

I think we need to remind each other and ourselves that we're capable of more than we realize -- that we can bring magic into our lives, or at least more desirable results. There's always more than one way of seeing a situation, and we can work to find the potential in what may not appear to be a happy outcome. I'm not saying that we should be Pollyannas and be unrealistically happy all the time, but that we can aim for a more positive approach to life, while at the same time dealing with reality. And, we can look for the magic!

Studio Day

I've been playing around with the idea of not painting the entire canvas. The painting above is a small experimental piece -- 12" x 12" -- and just the first layer. Compare it to the same size piece below where I've covered the entire canvas.




I'm kind of liking this idea of not covering the entire canvas. What do you think?

Yes, I finally got a new digital camera, and it's fabulous. Now I can show you work in progress again. I'll write more later. Right now I want to get back to the studio. I have lots of ideas that I'm eager to try.

Rainy Day Blog

I've been painting all day. I'd love to show you pictures, but my old digital camera still isn't working, and I have yet to buy a new one. Not having a digital camera is really putting a cramp in my blog style. I bought two different Smart Media cards for the old camera, one of which sort of worked, but not really, and the other of which didn't work at all. I'm thinking of going out to look at cameras tomorrow, although I'd really rather paint! I'm on a roll, and I hate to break the momentum.

Did you notice that I changed the name of this blog to Random Divination? It's a term that Caroline Casey used to describe my work, because I use chance elements in my painting and serendipity. Random Divination is a contradiction in terms, but I like that. Divination is unusal insight or perception, possibly using supernatural powers. And of course the word divination is derived from the word "divine." I think of random divination as being me getting out of the way and letting the divine take over. It's not me doing the painting -- it's some other supernatural force.

Divination also has to do with forseeing or fortelling future events, which relates to my name, Cassandra. In Greek mythology, Cassandra was a prophetess that no one believed. Yes, I'm using my formal name now for my work, but you can still call me Cassie!

It's raining in LA today -- very unusual for May. And it's 05/05/05. There seems to be something mystical about that, but I don't know what it is.

Caroline Casey

I did an astrological reading with Caroline Casey this morning, and it was incredible. If you aren't familiar with Caroline, you can hear her "Visionary Activist" show on KPFK most Thursday nights (technically Friday mornings) from 4:30 - 5:30 am. I'm not up that early, either, but I have a VCR connected to my stereo, and I can program the VCR to tape it. Caroline actually lives in the Washington DC area, and broadcasts out of KPFA in Berkeley. Roy of Hollywood plays her show locally on his KPFK show, "Something's Happening". Thank you, Roy!



Not only was Caroline dead-on accurate in her reading, but she also gave my life a mythological context. She talked about ancestors and traditions, what I was born into, my personality and talents, vows I took as a child, where I am now, and what's coming up. I feel like I know and understand myself so much better, and what she said was very empowering. I feel like I know where I'm headed and what to do.

Caroline was struck by my name -- my full name -- Cassandra. I've been using Cassie all my life, and I never felt comfortable with Cassandra. But clearly Cassandra is a more powerful name, and I'm going to start using that professionally.

Wow! Lots to think about here. Caroline doesn't always do readings, so if you're interested, make an appointment now!

Less is More

Today my Tuesday Art in Art Spaces class hit the West Hollywood and Culver City galleries. I was particularly struck by a Sam Francis painting at Manny Silverman Gallery. This was an early Sam Francis edge painting, -- so early that the edge work was creeping out into the center of the piece. I think it was before he started painting only the edges and leaving the centers entirely white.



I've seen lots of Sam Francis paintings before, but I suddenly realized how radical it is to leave part of the canvas unpainted. Even today, most artists cover the entire canvas with paint. I rarely see work where part of the canvas is left white, let alone most of the canvas.

I think there is something to be learned from this -- maybe that less is more. With fewer painted areas, the sections that are painted become more powerful.

I want to try it with my work. Sam Francis' colors were a lot stronger than my palette, and it may be that strong colors are necessary to balance all of that white. It may not translate well to what I do, but it will be fun to experiment.

Shibori

Have you ever seen shibori? It's a Japanese technique of tying and dyeing. There are different types of shibori. The silk scarves in the picture above were wrapped with string onto 6" diameter PVC drain pipe and then dyed. These were all done with natural dyes: red hibiscus flowers, black walnut hulls, black tea leaves, and brown onion skins. As you can see, natural dyes give more earth-toned colors. I prefer to use natural dyes, even though they're more work than synthetic dyes. I like that I get all of these colors from plants alone, without using anything toxic.

Today I did pomegranate peels, which give lovely golds and khaki greens.



The scarves stay on the poles until they are completely dry. That's how I get the pleats. I'm making these for holiday sales this year.

My favorite source for natural dyes is Prairie Fibers Company. They have a fantastic selection of dye materials, as well as books and other information on natural dyeing.